Words to Comfort Someone who Lost a Loved One 

Expressing sympathy in a genuine and caring way can be difficult, and so can finding the right words to comfort someone who has lost a loved one.  

This is because many people aren’t sure which words will portray their feelings effectively, or they are scared they’ll say the wrong thing.  

In this blog we offer some inspiration with suggested phrases and condolence messages. We also share some guidance about things which may be inappropriate to say to a person who is coming to terms with an agonising loss.  

Comforting a Mourning Friend or Family Member 

How do you express your feelings and support someone who is mourning a family member or friend? 

There are many ways to help someone who is grieving, like offering to help with practical, everyday tasks, remembering important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, and continuing to check in on them over time.  

Sometimes you don’t even need to say anything at all – just being present, offering a shoulder to cry on and ears to listen with can be the exact thing they need at that moment.  

In saying that, what you say or the messages you write in a sympathy card can have more of an impact than you realise. 

Here are some examples of phrases which may express exactly what you want to say. 

Words To Comfort Someone Who Lost a Loved One 

• I am/ we are so sorry for your loss. 
• I offer/ we offer our heartfelt condolences. 
• Holding you close in my thoughts and prayers. 
• We are keeping you and your family in our thoughts. 
• I am/ we are going to miss him/her.  
• I feel so lucky I got to know him/her because <REASON>.  
• I am/ we are here for you if you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. 
• He/she was (ADJECTIVE I.e. compassionate, charismatic, caring, kind-hearted, thoughtful, generous etc). 
• He/ she made a positive impact on so many lives. 
• What a remarkable life they had <REASON>.  
• We celebrate the life of <NAME> and mourn their passing with you.  
• I am so grateful/honoured to have known <NAME>. 
• Your mum/dad/grandma was a wonderful person who inspired and uplifted everyone they met.  
• I admired <NAME> because <REASON>.  
• We/ I understand how difficult this time is for you. Can I please help with <SPECIFIC TASK, such as laundry, dinner, babysitting> so you can rest.  
• Remembering <NAME> on their birthday/your anniversary. Thinking of you and sending lots of love your way. 
• <NAME> was such a loyal and loving sister/friend/spouse. I will miss him/her so much.  
• Please call me at any time of the day or night. I am here for you.  

If you would like more examples of short condolence messages, click here.  

What Not to Say When Someone Dies 

The absence felt after death can be considerable and unbearable, and it’s important to note that saying the wrong thing can add to a person’s pain.  

Here are some things to keep in mind when you do reach out to someone in mourning.  

1. Don’t belittle their feelings:  

Everyone experiences and processes heartbreak in different ways and their feelings are valid. 

Avoid the following:  

• Cheer up/brighten up/ perk up.  
• Stop crying.  
• Time heals all wounds. 
• You’re young enough to remarry/have more children. 
• At least xxxx 

2. Don’t make it about you:  

While we all experience grief at some point, this is not the time to bring up your experiences.  

Avoid the following: 

• When my <PERSON> died … 
• I felt the same when … 
• I know how you feel.  

3. Avoid Religion if the mourner is not religious 

Making Funeral Arrangements in Brisbane  

If you or someone you know is struggling to come to terms with a heart-breaking loss, we share some information about support services here.  

For those wishing to discuss arrangements for funerals in Brisbane, our team is ready to help, so please call us today on (07) 3217 3088.