If you’re thinking about how to plan your own funeral, you’re doing something genuinely thoughtful. Not for yourself, exactly, but for the people you love. Because when the time comes, the last thing you’d want is for your family to be guessing your wishes while they’re grieving.
Planning ahead removes that burden entirely.
This guide walks you through everything you need to consider, in the order that makes the most sense, so you can understand what to do and where to start.
Planning Funeral: What Decisions Do You Actually Need to Make?
Before getting into the detail, here’s a simple sequence to follow:
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- Decide on burial or cremation
- Choose the type of service you’d like
- Select music, readings, and personal touches
- Document the practical details
- Record your wishes somewhere accessible and tell the right people
Each of these is covered below. If you only do one thing today, write down your answer to step one and tell a family member. That single decision, clearly communicated, can spare your loved ones significant stress and make sure your wishes are respected.
Important note: In Australia, a will is typically not read until after the funeral has taken place. If your burial or cremation preference only exists inside your will, there is a real risk your family will make decisions before they ever see it. Your burial wishes must be documented separately and kept somewhere your family and executor can access immediately. This is one of the most commonly missed points in end-of-life planning.
Burial or Cremation: The First Decision
This is usually the starting point for planning funeral arrangements for yourself, and it shapes most of the decisions that follow.
Burial involves interment in a cemetery, a lawn cemetery, or a mausoleum. In Australia, a full burial with a casket, cemetery plot, and service typically costs anywhere from AUD $10,000 to $20,000 or more, depending on location and choices made.
Cremation offers more flexibility on both cost and ceremony. A direct cremation (no service, immediate cremation following death) sits at the lower end, sometimes from AUD $2,000 to $4,000. A cremation with a full-service costs more, but less than a traditional burial in most cases. For a detailed comparison of both options, the burial vs cremation guide covers the key differences worth considering.
If you choose cremation, think beyond the ashes themselves. Where would you like them to be kept or scattered? Options include a cemetery niche, a memorial garden, a family property (subject to local council rules), or scattering at sea. Each comes with its own considerations, so it’s worth researching what’s permitted in your area.
Natural or green burial is a growing option in Australia. It foregoes embalming, uses a biodegradable coffin or shroud, and takes place in a dedicated natural burial ground. Those interested in this option can find more detail on green burial in Queensland, including what’s currently available and how it works.
Choosing the Type of Service
The type of service you have shapes how people will remember the day. Think about what feels right for you and what your family will find meaningful.
Traditional funeral service: Held before the burial or cremation, usually at a funeral home chapel, church, or other venue. Has a defined structure, typically including music, a eulogy, readings, and a committal.
Celebration of life: A less formal gathering that focuses on the person’s character, relationships, and achievements. Can be held at any venue, including a home, garden, or favourite location. Often held after a cremation, allowing more time to plan and for distant family to travel.
Memorial service after cremation: A service held days, weeks, or even months after the cremation itself. This format gives families flexibility and still provides a meaningful gathering for people to grieve together.
No service: A valid choice, and some people genuinely prefer this. But if you’re considering it, the same guidance about direct cremation applies. Think about what your family will need to process their grief. You can choose not to have a formal service and still leave room for them to gather informally.
As you think about your service, consider these prompts:
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- Who would you like to speak?
- What size feels right: intimate or open?
- Indoors or outdoors?
- Would you prefer a religious officiant, a civil celebrant, or a family member to lead the service?
- Is there a particular venue that would be meaningful?
A Note on Direct Cremation
Direct cremation is increasingly popular, and there are good reasons for that. It’s more affordable and simpler to arrange. But it’s worth considering the impact on your family.
When there is no service, there is no dedicated time or space for people to come together and grieve. For some families, that absence can make loss harder to process. This doesn’t mean direct cremation is the wrong choice. Many families hold a meaningful memorial gathering weeks after the cremation. But it’s worth thinking through, and worth talking about with your family before deciding.
If you’re weighing up your options, our guide to what to expect when you choose a cremation only in Brisbane explains the process in plain terms.
Music, Readings, and Personal Touches
This is often the part people find most enjoyable to think about. Choose what reflects who you are, not what seems expected.
Music: Aim for two or three pieces of music that matter to you. These might be hymns, classical pieces, or favourite songs. Write down the artist and song title clearly, not just “that song I love.” For inspiration, our list of popular funeral songs covers a wide range of styles and eras worth browsing.
Readings: A poem, a passage from a book, a piece of scripture, or something you’ve written yourself. If you have a preference for who reads it, note that too.
Other personal touches: These might include a photo display, a favourite flower, a particular colour, or a request for attendees to wear something informal. Some people ask for donations to a charity instead of flowers.
None of this needs to be elaborate. Even a few lines on a piece of paper are more helpful than nothing.
Other Important Details to Document
Beyond the ceremony itself, there is a longer list of practical information your family and executor will need. The more of this you document, the less they will need to track down under pressure.
Consider recording:
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- Your preferred funeral director, if you have one in mind
- Any pre-paid funeral fund details, including the provider and policy number
- Your preference for an open or closed casket, if applicable
- Whether you’d like an obituary or death notice published, and any guidance on what it should say
- Key contacts to be notified, including friends, colleagues, and organisations
- Your executor’s name and where your will is held
- Organ or body donation wishes. In Australia, these must be registered separately through the Australian Organ Donor Register. They cannot simply be noted in a will and should not be assumed from a drivers licence alone
- Your digital accounts, including email and social media, and what you’d like to happen to them
This last point is increasingly important. A Facebook profile, for example, can be memorialised, deleted, or left unchanged. Having clear instructions spares your family from making that call themselves. For more on this topic, why digital asset management matters is worth reading as part of your planning.
How to Record and Share Your Wishes
Keep It Separate from Your Will
This is worth repeating. Do not rely on your will to communicate your funeral wishes. In most Australian states, wills go through a probate process and may not be located or read until well after the funeral. Your funeral wishes need to exist in a separate document that your family can access immediately.
What Format Works Best
A standalone document is ideal, sometimes called a “funeral wishes” or “end of life” document. It doesn’t need to be legally formatted. A clear, written record that covers the decisions above is sufficient.
Keep it:
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- With your important papers, but not locked inside them
- With your executor
- With a trusted family member
- On file with your funeral director. Many funeral homes, including Anton Brown Funerals, can hold a copy of your documented wishes on file. This ensures they are available to the right people immediately, regardless of where other documents are kept.
Advance Care Directives
If you’re also managing medical end-of-life decisions, an Advance Care Directive is a separate document that covers your medical treatment preferences, including whether you want life-sustaining treatment continued in certain circumstances. These are different from funeral planning documents. Both matter, but they serve different purposes. Your funeral wishes sit outside the scope of an Advance Care Directive and need to be recorded separately.
Start Here: Five Things to Write Down Today
If this all feels like a lot to work through at once, start small. These five things, written down now, will make a real difference:
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- Burial or cremation preference
- The type of service you’d like, or explicitly don’t want
- Two or three songs or readings that matter to you
- Who should be contacted and who should be involved in arrangements
- Where this document will be kept and who has a copy
That’s it for now. You can build on it over time.
Communicating Your Wishes to Family
Documenting your wishes is only part of the job. Your family needs to know they exist and, ideally, what they contain.
A simple conversation lets your family know your preferences, where to find the document, and that you’ve already made the key decisions. It removes a significant source of uncertainty at one of the hardest times they’ll face.
If a direct conversation feels difficult, a letter left with your documents can serve the same purpose.
Choosing a Funeral Director
If you’d like professional support with how to pre plan your own funeral, choosing the right funeral director early makes the whole process easier.
Look for someone who takes the time to listen rather than pushing you toward a standard package. Our guide on how to choose a funeral director covers the key questions to ask and what to look for in someone you can trust.
At Anton Brown Funerals, we’re experienced in helping people plan ahead, both for their own peace of mind and to ease the load on their families. If you’d like to talk through your options without any obligation, we’d be glad to help.
Pre Plan Your Own Funeral with Anton Brown
Deciding how to plan your own funeral is one of the most considerate things you can do for the people you love. It means they won’t have to guess. They won’t have to argue. And they’ll be free to focus on each other and on grieving, rather than making difficult decisions under pressure.
You don’t need to have every detail sorted today. But if this guide has helped you get clearer on where to start with how to plan your own funeral, that’s more than enough. Write down what you know. Share it with someone you trust. And if you’d like help from there, we’re here.
Ready to take the next step? Get in touch with Anton Brown Funerals to have a conversation about pre-planning. There’s no obligation, no pressure, just clear, caring guidance from people who understand what matters.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to pre-pay to pre-plan?
No. Pre-planning and pre-paying are separate things. You can document all of your wishes without spending a cent. Pre-paying fixes today’s prices and funds the funeral in advance, which some people prefer. But planning your wishes costs nothing and can be done at any time.
Are my funeral wishes legally binding?
In Australia, funeral wishes are generally not legally enforceable in the same way a contract is. However, a clearly documented and shared set of wishes carries significant practical weight. When your family and funeral director know your preferences, they are far more likely to be followed.
What if my family disagrees with my wishes?
The best safeguard is communication. If your family knows your wishes and has had the chance to discuss them with you, disagreements are far less likely after the fact. If you have concerns about a particular family dynamic, speak to your executor or a funeral director in advance.
Will a direct cremation stop my family from being able to grieve properly?
Not necessarily. Many families hold a meaningful memorial gathering after a direct cremation. However, for some people, the absence of a formal service can make grief harder to process. It’s worth thinking through what your family will need, not just what feels simplest for you.
Where do I start if I’m not sure what I want?
Start with the five questions in the section above. Burial or cremation is the most important first decision. Once that’s settled, the other choices tend to follow more naturally.
Anton Brown Funerals is a family-owned, Queensland funeral company which was established in 1995.
Our Brisbane-based team of funeral directors are honest, professional, compassionate and understanding, and always put our clients and their needs first.
We go above and beyond to ensure your loved one’s funeral arrangements are tailored to their final wishes and can assist you with burials, cremations, coffins, floral arrangements, pre-planning and more.
If you need help organising a dignified funeral service, we are available to discuss arrangements 24/7, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to us today on (07) 3217 3088 or send us a message online here.
